Dating aficionados and starry social network app, Badoo share their top tips for managing Valentine’s Day this year if you are single in London
What to do if you’re single in London this Valentine’s Day
Destined for another V Day spent being single in London? Fret not because dating app Badoo is here to help. We teamed up with the relationship gurus to get their top tips for navigating this anxiety-inducing holiday for singletons. Call them Cupid, because they’re here to push you into the path of that perfect stranger. Read on for the dos and don’ts for when love comes a-knocking.
2. Snooze the 10 alarms you have set to avoid the 8:30 am Piccadilly Line.
3. Actually wake up and resolve yourself to the fact that you are alone on Valentine’s Day. Again.
4. Un-resolve yourself to this fact and head to a busy location like Oxford Circus and use Badoo’s People Nearby feature to rack up a ton of matches for later in the day.
5. This guy seems like he’ll suffice as he is with dog.
6. Feel content with your efforts at finding love and reward yourself with an overly complex coffee in Soho (recommendation: Tap coffee, although we still don’t know the difference between their ‘wet’ and ‘dry’ macchiatos)
7. Become overwhelmed by the crowds of people and leave this hell hole of a place.
8. Head to Hyde Park with bread in favour of the company of ducks.
9. Monologue to ducks about how single life is better anyway.
10. Get distracted by funny message from cute guy with dog on Badoo (Mike?)
11. Giggle hysterically, scaring ducks away and immediately respond to message that yes, you’d love to go for an anti-Valentine’s Date later.
12. Panic that you’ve responded too quickly.
13. Breathe a sigh of relief when cute guy with dog responds equally quickly.
14. Panic that you have no clothes to wear.
15. Consider cancelling.
16. Eat some of the bread intended for ducks, muse for a bit.
17. Decide you may as well go.
18. Video call cute guy on Badoo to check if he does, indeed, have a dog.
19. He does, let’s do this.
20. Realise you’re late, run through Hyde Park dodging couples holding hands and walking slowly.
21. Like seriously, SO SLOWLY.
22. Meet cute guy from Badoo. Mike.
23. Take cute guy to a really coupley spot and make loud judgemental observations about all the loved-up couples (eg. Clos Maggiore, London’s most romantic restaurant – apparently…)
24. Get too drunk for a weekday.
25. Undermine steps 1-23 by telling cute guy you love him.
26. Go home to bed, sleep off alcohol.
27. Repeat steps 1-2.
28. Text cute guy apologising for steps 24 and 25.
29. Forget about Valentine’s Day until next year.